Promotion push

Just arrived in Dundee for what I hope will be a small celebration if not a full promotion party.

Dundee United, the club I have supported since 1969 when my family moved to Scotland, are one win away from winning the Scottish Championship and I wanted to be there should they cross the line.

Only one club is automatically promoted from the second tier of Scottish football and with three games to play United need just one win to achieve it because they have a far better goal difference (+46) than their nearest rivals, Raith Rovers (+11), who - after last night’s 1-0 win in Inverness - are three points behind United with just two games to play.

Any celebration on my part will be subdued though because the season hasn’t gone as smoothly as we might have hoped.

It began well enough - a 4-0 win under the lights at Arbroath in August - but what should have been a fairly easy league to win (given the size of the clubs United are competing against) became quite a slog.

Every substantial victory (5-0 at Partick Thistle, for example) was matched by an underwhelming draw or depressing defeat (five in total).

Most damaging of all were the home and away losses to Raith Rovers who at one point had taken seven out of nine points from three games against United.

United eventually won the fourth match (2-0) a few weeks ago, but since Christmas neither team seemed to want automatic promotion, such were the number of points they both kept dropping.

Meanwhile, with several journeyman players brought in from other Championship clubs with aim of winning the lower division rather than competing at a higher level thereafter, United are going to struggle next season without significant investment in players.

I can’t see that happening under the present (American) owner who, to be fair, has already invested millions of pounds he will never get back.

In fact, he’s made it clear he doesn’t intend to hang around much longer (another few years at most), and I don’t blame him.

How United got themselves in this mess is a mystery.

The sixth largest club in Scotland has been relegated twice since 2016 and although the more realistic fans know the golden era when United won the old Premier Division (1983), reached the semi-final of the European Cup (1984), and the final of the UEFA Cup (1987) will never be repeated, it’s sad nevertheless to see the club in such a state while city rivals Dundee are in the top six of the Premiership with plans to build a brand new stadium.

Anyway, I’ll put that to one side for now. Promotion is promotion so I’ll try and enjoy the moment, should it effectively happen today. The future can wait.

Apart from winning the Scottish Premier Division in May 1983, which I witnessed first hand, I can’t remember many better moments, football wise, than winning the promotion play-off in May 1996.

Having got relegated the previous year, twelve months after winning the Scottish Cup for the first time (another good day), United had endured a frustrating season, eventually finishing second behind Dunfermline.

That meant a play-off with Partick Thistle who had come second bottom of the Premier Division.

The first leg in Glasgow finished 1-1 and the second leg, in Dundee, drew a capacity crowd (12,000), with all four sides of the ground open to spectators.

I sat behind the goal at the Shed End (which these days is usually closed) and it was a cracking atmosphere, but United played poorly and when Thistle went ahead in the 70th minute many of us were resigned to a second season in the lower division.

(To put this in perspective, United had previously enjoyed an unbroken run in the top division going back to 1959, the year I was born, so prior to 1995 relegation was something that happened only to other clubs.)

But back to the play-off. Roared on by the crowd, United equalised with only 45 seconds left and Tannadice erupted.

In extra time Owen Coyle (who went on to manage Bolton and Burnley) scored the winning goal a few yards in front of me and the promotion party started in earnest.

There was genuine optimism too because while the team had under-performed that season, the club had some good young players who - with the help of three excellent Scandinavians who were brought in the following season - pushed the club to third place in the Premier Division in 1996/97.

Today’s game obviously lacks the jeopardy of that play-off. Also, I anticipate a crowd of around 8,000 with the Shed End and the old Jerry Kerr Stand (built in 1961) closed to spectators, so that will lessen the atmosphere too.

Nevertheless, if United win I imagine there will be a celebration of sorts because in 2020, after four dismal seasons in the Championship (and three play-off defeats), we were denied even that after United were awarded promotion when the season was abandoned due to Covid.

Nice as it was to go up, it was a bit of a damp squib so, fingers crossed, if we win today we can finally have a party, even if the future is less than bright.

Above: My trusty scsrf in United colours, hand-knitted for me as a Christmas present in, I think, 1973. I still have it and will be wearing it today. Note one small repair for a cigarette burn!

Below: The 1995/96 play-off second leg at Tannadice. I was behind the goal where Thistle scored from a penalty in the 70th minute and United scored the winner in extra-time.

Tobacco and Vapes Bill - second reading

The second reading of the Tobacco and Vapes Bill takes place in the House of Commons today.

There will be a debate followed by a vote this evening. Reports suggest 50 to 100 Conservative MPs, including a few Cabinet members, may rebel and either vote against the Bill or abstain. (I suspect more will abstain than vote against.)

Either way it won't be enough to derail the Bill because Labour is committed to supporting it so it would need a huge Tory revolt - 276 votes, I think - to scupper it and that’s not going to happen.

Nevertheless, it only needs 26 Tory MPs to vote against the Bill for the Government to need opposition votes to get it to the next stage, and that’s not a good look for the prime minister.

My guess is that, vote wise, the so-called rebellion may be fairly muted today. The problem we have is two-fold.

One, many Conservative MPs will be reluctant to rock the boat by giving the prime minister a bloody nose before the local elections on May 2.

Two, MPs are today being asked to vote on the Bill in its entirety, and while many Tories are opposed to the generational ban, some of the same MPs are also minded to support the ban on disposable vapes, which is also in the Bill, so you can see the problem.

After the second reading the Bill goes to the committee stage, during which amendments can be tabled, and that’s where it could get interesting, and more complicated.

It has been suggested, for example, that an amendment to raise the age of sale from 18 to 21 might be tabled with a view to replacing the generational ban.

Today therefore is only one stage in the Bill’s journey through Parliament and although the odds are against the generational ban being defeated, opponents of the policy won’t go down without a fight, that’s for sure.

Some, like Philip Davies MP, have suggested they might hold their fire until the third reading (in June) so whatever happens today this is not the end of the matter.

See: Tory ministers threaten to vote against Rishi Sunak’s smoking ban (The Times) - includes a quote by me.

Sunak faces 50 MP rebellion over smoking ban (Telegraph)

I won't be voting for the Prime Minister's Bill to stamp out smoking, says [Conservative MP] Mark Eastwood

PS. I was on Times Radio last night, discussing the Bill with Hazel Cheeseman, deputy chief executive of ASH.

This morning I’m on the Five Live phone-in with Nicky Campbell, followed by GB News, and after that I shall I be travelling to London for a possible interview with Channel 4 News. More later.

Update: Just been interviewed by Channel 5 News outside Blackfriars Station. They wanted a soundbite to drop into their evening news and it was quicker for them to come to me.

This evening I’m doing three interviews at Millbank studios in Westminster - BBC Radio Wales, BBC Look North, and Sky News.

Andrew Marr’s producer from LBC has been in touch too but they wanted me on between 6.00 and 6.30 when I’m doing two of the interviews above.

Can’t do ‘em all, I’m afraid.

That said, we’re not as in demand as we might have been. I’m guessing that with a number of profile Tories voting against the Bill (Liz Truss and my namesake Simon Clarke, for example), their reaction is, understandably, a better story than the comments of those perennial lobbyists, Forest.

Talking of which, I was intrigued to read this report in the Guardian - Chris Whitty urges MPs to ignore lobbying and pass smoking ban bill.

It includes a reference to Forest:

Polling is also being used to influence the debate. Forest, the self-styled “smokers’ rights” campaign group, has urged MPs to reject the bill, describing it as “ageist”.

“If you are legally an adult, it’s ageist if you are denied the same rights as adults who may be only a year or two older than you are,” said Forest’s director, Simon Clark. He cited a poll that found 64% of the public believed people should be allowed to buy cigarettes if they were allowed to drive a car, join the army, possess a credit card, buy alcohol and vote at 18.

This is the poll the Guardian is referring to. God help us if only the ‘public health’ elite are allowed to lobby our elected representatives, but that seems to be the way we are going.

Setting the record straight

Since I was interviewed for the Swift Half podcast I've been feeling a bit guilty.

You see, I was asked by Chris Snowdon what I did before I joined Forest and before I knew it I was explaining how I left my first job in public relations to launch a national student magazine (the magazine I was selling when I met John Hayes – see previous post).

When I launched Campus in 1983 it was a completely new venture but the original publication on which it was based was launched not by me but by two other students, Peter Young and Chris Bones, at Aberdeen University in the spring of 1978, and in simplifying the story for the Swift Half I failed to credit them.

Neither would be too fussed, I’m sure, but I’d nevertheless like to set the record straight. The full story, as my increasingly fallible memory remembers it, is this.

Chris and Peter were members of the Federation of Conservative Students (FCS) and Campus was founded when the official student newspaper, Gaudie, fell victim to a strike by the print union SOGAT.

Peter, the driving force, found a non-union printer in Bristol and Campus was born, but when Gaudie returned after the summer break the original Campus team (all members of FCS) broke up, leaving Peter to carry on alone.

And that's when I came in.

I wasn't a member of FCS so, instead of being a de facto FCS publication devoted exclusively to politics, we developed a Private Eye-style of content in which all student politicians, including FCS members, were fair game for gossip, innuendo, and satire.

In fact, we were subsequently sued for defamation by a student who had been elected as an FCS representative on the Student Representative Council (SRC) with the matter eventually being settled out of court.

(A second student tried to sue us but Peter replied to his solicitor's letter with an Anglo-Saxon term rarely heard in legal discourse and we heard nothing more.)

As a further aside, in the autumn of 1979 our small editorial team was joined by two first year students and if the names Nicky Campbell and Allan Robb sound familiar, let me explain.

Friends from the age of four, they grew up in Edinburgh and were in their first year at Aberdeen when they answered our ad for new writers.

I don’t think they were entirely comfortable writing for Campus because they were only on board for two or three issues.

Either way, Nicky Campbell is now one of Britain's best known broadcasters and Allan Robb also had a long broadcasting career before he died, sadly, aged 49, in 2010.

I still have copies of Campus, both the Aberdeen students' newspaper and the later magazine that was banned by 40 student unions nationwide.

The reason – never formally confirmed – was our refusal to take student politicians or the National Union of Students seriously.

I've told this story before (it never grows old) but in 1984 we sent a representative to the NUS conference in Blackpool and when he was refused entry he used his initiative and found another way in.

Finding himself on the circle balcony overlooking the stalls, he distributed copies of the magazine by dropping them on to heads of the delegates seated below.

Cue pandemonium, or so I'm told. I wasn't there.

The funny thing is, Our Man in Blackpool went on to become the 'mysterious backroom Tory fixer feared by MPs'.

The plan, when launching Campus as a national student magazine, was to develop a sizeable following among students and then relaunch it under a new name with copies sold to the general public via WH Smith and other newsagents.

A story to this effect appeared in the Sunday Times written by Stephen Pile, a well known journalist at the time and, coincidentally, author of The Book of Heroic Failures.

Sadly, we never got close to achieving our ambition because our initial business model – using a network of students to sell Campus to students and keep 50 per cent of the cover price – didn't work for us.

We took the idea from Richard Branson who used it when he launched his own magazine, Student, in 1970, but there was a flaw we should have seen but didn't.

Our team of 'salesmen' often failed to pass on our share of the cover price, and we had no way of getting the money back.

In fact, we found it difficult to track whether the magazines we sent them had been sold at all, so the enterprise eventually failed, commercially at least, but thanks to some private benefactors and a handful of advertisers (including The Spectator) we somehow managed to break even.

Anyway, Campus was finally laid to rest in 1985 but it was fun while it lasted and it opened doors that led me, eventually, to Forest.

As for the original founders, a quick search of the internet reveals that Chris Bones went on to enjoy a successful and varied career in a number of roles.

Currently chairman of the Chartered Institute of Legal Executives and a former dean of the Henley Business School, you can read more about him here.

It’s Peter Young, though, who should really be credited with launching the title in 1978.

His subsequent career has featured a great many twists and turns (too many to list here) but I live in hope that he writes a memoir because the cast of extraordinary characters and the many clandestine adventures he could describe would be hugely entertaining.

Most recently he assisted the producers of a new Channel 4 series about the 1984 miners’ strike (Miners’ Strike 1984: The Battle for Britain), and even narrated part of episode 3, broadcast in February.

See also: The senior Tories with the secret Soviet past and Friends reunited.

Lookout, it’s John Hayes!

Further to my previous post, another potential Tory rebel on Tuesday is someone I first met when he was 25 and I was 24.

In 1983 I had launched and was editing a national student magazine called Campus.

As I told Chris Snowdon on the Swift Half podcast, the magazine was subsequently banned by 40 student unions so we couldn’t sell it through the student union shops on campus.

This was a significant problem that eventually helped defeat the project but initially, to get round the ban, we sold it door-to-door in halls of residence around the country.

On one occasion that took us to Nottingham which is how I met John Hayes, now Sir John and chairman of the Common Sense Group of Tory backbenchers.

Back then however he was still a student, albeit a leading member of the Nottingham University Conservative Association and a bit of a character even then.

We had to sell the magazine in the evenings because that was when students were most likely to be in their rooms. And it must have been winter because I remember it being dark, and cold.

Officially we weren’t allowed to sell door-to-door in halls of residence so the whole exercise had to be carried out discreetly and at speed.

In particular we had to be wary of informers (political opponents especially) who might snitch on us, and occasionally they did, forcing us to out-run whoever might be sent to stop us.

If I remember, as well as guiding us around some of the halls on the Nottingham campus, John acted as our lookout and although there was an attempt to stop us, we managed - with his help - to give our pursuers the slip.

In fact, we enjoyed one of our more successful (and profitable) evenings.

Our paths have crossed a handful of times since he became an MP (in 1997) and I started working for Forest, but I don't think he recognises me from that evening and I've been reluctant to mention it because it was a long time ago and today, as a senior Conservative (and former minister), it’s something he might prefer to forget.

Then again, I sense he's always been a rebel at heart so he might recall that evening with the same amusement that I do. I hope so.

Tory rebellion still on track

Further to yesterday’s post about Boris Johnson, the Telegraph reports that:

Rishi Sunak is facing a revolt next week over his proposal to ban smoking after it was criticised by two former prime ministers and his ex-home secretary.

One backbencher estimated that around 100 of his colleagues could defy Mr Sunak, which would make it the biggest rebellion of his premiership.

There is, though, a caveat:

However, even a major rebellion is unlikely to derail the legislation because it has Labour’s support.

Furthermore:

To force a defeat, at least 274 Tories would need to rebel, subject to how other parties voted. 

Nevertheless:

The Government’s working majority is now 51, meaning only 26 Tory rebels would be needed to leave Mr Sunak reliant on Labour votes.

Which would be very embarrassing for the PM.

The Telegraph adds that:

Although dozens of Tory MPs are understood to have concerns about the smoking ban, rebels are split about whether to oppose the Bill outright or attempt to amend it.

The second reading of the Tobacco and Vapes Bill takes place on Tuesday (April 16), when we would expect there to be a vote that the Government will no doubt win,

That’s not the end of it, though. The Bill then has go to the committee and report stages, when amendments can be tabled.

It also has to go the House of Lords before going back to the Commons.

The Telegraph adds that:

Philip Davies, a senior Tory backbencher, confirmed that he would vote against the policy at its third reading further down the line, while another prominent figure said: “I would be surprised if the noes were less than 100.”

I wrote about Philip here following the recent announcement that he is to receive a knighthood.

He was due to host our reception at the House of Commons in February but had to drop out owing to a double-booking.

He nevertheless promised to remain a “hardline opponent” of the generational tobacco ban and he’s been true to his word.

What the Telegraph makes clear is that, while the odds of overturning Rishi Sunak’s generational ban are heavily against us, that’s no reason for us to give up, even if the second reading vote offers only a limited rebellion.

Truth is, Tory MPs will be reluctant to rock the boat before the local elections on May 2 but a bad result (widely expected) could change everything.

We’ll see.

See: Sunak faces Tory revolt over smoking ban plan (Telegraph)

Boris to the rescue!

The second reading of the Tobacco and Vapes Bill takes place on Tuesday (April 16).

Forest has written to every Conservative MP with a copy of our ‘Say No to Nanny!’ pamphlet (right) and a covering letter.

It’s still not clear how many will vote against the generational ban. My pessimistic guess is that relatively few will want to rock the boat so close to the local elections on May 2, but you never know.

What happens after that remains to be seen. A catastrophic defeat for the Tories and … who knows what their reaction might be. A new leader, perhaps?

The good news is that former PM Boris Johnson has made his views known. Speaking in Canada yesterday, he described the generational ban as “absolutely nuts”.

According to the Guardian:

Johnson attacked the policy at the Canada Strong and Free conference in Ottawa, where he appeared on a panel with the former Australian prime minister Tony Abbott and the political commentator John O’Sullivan.

Johnson said: “When I look at some of the things we are doing now, or that are being done in the name of conservatism, I think they’re absolutely nuts.”

So that’s two former Tory prime minsters - Liz Truss and now Boris - who are fiercely opposed to the policy.

We know that many Conservative MPs share their views so let’s hope Boris’s timely intervention encourages more of them to stand up and be counted.

Does Rishi really want to be remembered for needing the support of opposition MPs to get one of his flagship policies through the House?

By the way, I stand by my view that, for all his faults, Boris ‘deserved a full parliament and the chance to return to the electorate and let them decide his future’. (See Boris: what a waste.)

I’m not saying he was a good PM, but at least he was a relatively liberal one. (I’ll excuse him the Covid lockdowns and even his Net Zero targets.)

And he couldn’t be more right about this:

The party of Winston Churchill wants to ban cigars … Donnez moi un break, as they say in Quebec. It’s just mad.”

Libertarian? Not me!

I recorded a podcast with Chris Snowdon a few weeks ago.

In the time available (30 minutes) we discussed several topics, not just smoking.

For example, Chris was interested to know what I did before Forest, which led to a brief discussion about the BBC and the changing face of journalism.

I also confessed that I am not and never have been a libertarian:

"There are plenty of things I'd ban if I had a chance. Noisy neighbours, I'd ban them. Cyclists, I wouldn't actually ban them but I'd certainly introduce a lot of restrictions. So, no, I'm not a libertarian."

Here are some other quotes:

"The idea that the smoking ban might be extended to outdoor public places, or there might be a generational ban on the sale of tobacco, I find absolutely extraordinary. It's amazing how we've come so far in just 20 years with the amount of legislation, regulations, and restrictions on people's habits. It's unbelievable."

"I've enjoyed the job [director of Forest] because it's always been a challenge. I've met some fantastic people, and the thing that keeps me going is the fact that many of the people I've grown up with have been smokers. I know there are some people who wish they had never started smoking and wish to give up but, my goodness, I've met so many people who have enjoyed [smoking], and still enjoy it to this day, and those people deserve a voice, and if it's down to me, and Forest, to give [them] a voice, then we will continue to do it for as long as we can."

"Like you, I believe there's more than one point of view in any argument, whether it's smoking, vaping, use of alcohol, any lifestyle issue, and between us – you, me, and all the other people who are out there fighting this fight – I think we deserve to be heard and we've got to keep going."

You can watch the full podcast on YouTube here or above, and an audio only version is available Podbean.

Rural retreat

Just back from a few days in Suffolk.

We stayed in a small field barn conversion on what was previously a dairy farm that dated back to the 16th century.

There were a dozen or so barns of various sizes, plus some rather dinky shepherds’ huts. The smallest barn was a single room. Others had one, two, or four bedrooms with a comfortable open plan kitchen/diner/living area.

Ours had a single bedroom. There was also a battery of wall switches that was so complicated it took me 15 minutes to puzzle out how to get the lighting the way we wanted.

Breakfast and dinner were served in the Great Barn, which in winter has an impressive log fire.

The nearest village - a 30-minute walk from our rural ‘retreat’ - was originally an old Roman settlement.

Today it’s home to 600 people and features houses going back to Tudor times while parts of the parish church go back even further.

There’s also a 300-year-old shop that sells groceries. In 2021 it faced permanent closure when the owners, whose family had run it for 100 years, retired, but villagers stepped in and it is now run as a community shop and cafe.

As it happens, we originally intended staying at the refurbished Swan Hotel in Southwold, on the coast, but the weather forecast predicted persistent rain so I thought better of it because, much as I like Southwold, rain and seaside don’t mix, for me at least.

Viewed from the comfort of our cosy barn, I think I made the right choice. Another time, perhaps.