Mind my car

This takes me back.

In a video interview with his wife Sharon, reported by the BBC, Ozzy Osbourne ‘recalls moments from his childhood in Birmingham, including how he used to “mind cars for tips” during Aston Villa’s home matches’.

Osbourne was born in 1948 so that must have been in the Sixties, possibly earlier. The practise, however, was still evident when I went to Villa Park in the early Noughties and it wouldn’t surprise me if it’s still going on.

Villa Park is one of the great football stadiums in Britain, but parking anywhere near the ground is difficult if you’re unfamiliar with the area.

I took my son, who must have been ten or eleven at the time (Villa were playing Chelsea), and we found ourselves on a housing estate, half a mile or so from the ground.

Within seconds of parking the car I was approached by a diminutive figure, no older than my son, who asked if we were going to the match.

When I said yes he then offered to “mind the car”.

I noticed several other boys of a similar age lurking around and it was clear there was a small gang of them waiting to prey on drivers like me.

Minding cars for tips? Extortion more like!

It’s 20 years ago now so I can’t remember what I did, but I have a feeling I may have given him - against my better judgement - the fiver he was asking for.

Funnily enough, my experience of Villa fans - having sat among them once at Derby’s Pride Park stadium - is that they are among the most good-humoured supporters in the country, although it probably helped that they won that match 2-0.

Sadly I haven’t been back to Villa Park since that first time, but when I do I’ll leave the car in a city centre car park and get a taxi to the ground, or I’ll travel by train.

Anything to avoid giving “tips” to the heirs of Ozzy Osbourne to “mind my car”.