To pee or not to pee

As I’ve got older I’ve been increasingly prone to various minor ailments.

I currently take two pills a day to combat a swollen prostate, another two to reduce my blood pressure, plus a fifth (the infamous statin) which I think is to reduce my chances of having a heart attack or stroke before I’m 70.

The most painful ailment, when it occurs, is gout. It can be treated but by the time I get an appointment with a doctor to prescribe a drug to reduce the swelling in my foot I have usually endured two or three days of intense pain during which I am largely incapacitated (ie barely able to walk).

Another painful ailment is a recurring bladder infection - once, twice, sometimes three times a year. I’ll spare you the details. Suffice to say that for two or three days it is VERY painful when I pee and even with prescribed medication the symptoms generally last for a week or more.

The pain and general discomfort I can handle. More difficult is the fact that I have to go the loo once an hour at least, while my brain is telling me to go even more frequently so I have to fight the impulse.

That makes it difficult to go out for any length of time, as I discovered last week when I had to attend a lunch at the House of Lords.

Fortunately, all those years of working in London have not been wasted and I was able to manage the situation without too much trouble.

It helps that I know where the public toilets are! My favourite Westminster convenience - for cleanliness and location - are the WCs at the Conrad Hotel (formerly the Intercontinental) opposite St James’s Park Underground station.

I’ve used the facilities so often I’m convinced the doorman recognises me, even though I have never stayed there.

4 Millbank, close to the Houses of Parliament and home to the BBC, ITV News, and Sky News, was another convenient convenience until they changed the security arrangements which made it impossible to wander in and out without being a member of staff or a registered guest.

Anyway, leaving that aside, I was told in October that I am on the waiting list to be seen in the urology clinic at my local hospital.

On Friday I was informed that ‘due to capacity and clinician availability there is a 5-6 month wait for urgent referrals, 12-18 months for routine referral’.

I’ve no idea whether I’m an urgent or routine referral but there is some good news.

The doctor I spoke to last week reminded me that, according to my most recent CT scan (in 2023), there was no indication of significant damage to my kidneys beyond normal wear and tear.

If only the same could be said of our blessed NHS.