That's Life

A few observations from the Boisdale Life Editor's Lunch & Awards that took place in London yesterday.

One, how nice it was to have the option of walking around indoors at a public event without having to wear a face mask at any stage.

I'm not against wearing a mask if common sense and consideration for others still calls for it – a crowded train, for example – but I did enjoy the genuine sense of liberation.

In fact, true to Boisdale's libertarian philosophy, I didn't see a single guest wearing one, indoors or out. The only obvious faux pas was that perpetrated by a male guest who chose to wear shorts. Unacceptable.

Two, whoever devised the seating plan deserves a medal because I found myself on the end of a table surrounded by other Simons – Simon Bartholomew, guitarist with The Brand New Heavies, and Simon Hart MP, former director of the Countryside Alliance.

Sadly Simon Hart didn't show up (not unusual for politicians at this type of event) so I spent much of lunch talking to Simon Bartholomew and another musician who wasn't called Simon. The latter described how he once got arrested in America for possession of drugs and wasn't allowed to return for ten years.

The subject came up because we were talking about smoking (as you do) and this led to a discussion about cannabis which I know very little about although I have visited cannabis shops (legal and illegal) in Canada so at least I had something to offer the conversation!

Also at our end of the table was 'New Orleans singing sensation Acantha Lang', who later sang two songs on stage.

They were all very charming and Bartholomew in particular was very amusing. He bore some resemblance to the late Rick Parfitt of Status Quo and was very proud of his hair, albeit in a self-mocking type of way.

(To be fair, I raised the subject and he was happy to play along.)

He described The Brand New Heavies as a "heritage act" but he was being unduly modest because they are still recording and releasing new material, which most heritage acts are not.

This article from October 2020 (The comeback of 1990s funk & acid jazz: interview with The Brand New Heavies’ Simon Bartholomew) is as good an introduction to the band and Bartholomew as any.

And, yes, he really does speak like that!!

A few seats up from us was singer Rebecca Ferguson and opposite her was Mary Killen, The Spectator's etiquette expert now better known for her appearances on Gogglebox.

Seeing Mary looking a bit lost as she searched for her table, I sprang into action and ushered her towards her seat, which I knew was on the same long table as me.

Before she sat down she asked me if I knew where so-and-so was sitting. Not only did I not know, I had never even heard of the person. It was clear however that as a result of my good deed Mary thought I was a member of staff and would therefore have a copy of the table plan.

I wasn't and I didn't.

Three, the awards were a bit of a damp squib, if I'm honest. Very few of the nominees bothered to turn up, likewise some of the winners.

Nominated for two awards, the New Statesman's Rachel Cunliffe (formerly of City AM) was present and correct but lost out each time despite the fact that neither winner was there to accept their award.

Poor show. If you turn up you deserve an award!

Four, when speaking to the Nicaraguan ambassador (Her Excellency Guisell Morales-Echaverry), try not to confuse her for the Cuban ambassador, then the ambassador for the Dominican Republic, as I did.

Awkward, but I think I got away with it.