That's entertainment
Monday, February 27, 2017 at 18:11 Email received last night.
Good evening Mr Clark,
For many years I have listened to your passionate defence of smokers 'liberties'.
Rather like being amused by the drunk at the bar and having just a little sympathy for his wild eyed defence of whatever extreme position he is defending, I have always found your arguments entertaining.
Now however you have lapsed into seeming madness with your ridiculous defence of smoking outside hospitals.
Of course I don't care about the idiot mothers who insist that their little 'angels' wear a cycling helmet but don't care enough to stop smoking while they are having their brats in the first place.
Natural selection helps in that regard and that is one area where smoking assists the general population by killing off just a few of the morons who will decide to smoke in the first place.
It is certainly the case that the gene pool is improved while the less intelligent in society continue to smoke and a very good reason why smoking should not be banned across the board.
I care about two things only:
1. The absolute filth that is left by inconsiderate smokers who cannot be bothered to dispose of their disgusting cigerate ends and just throw them on the floor.
2. The 5.2 BILLION pounds that is being spent by the NHS on smoking related problems. [Actually it's £2.5bn, allegedly, and smokers contribute £12bn in tobacco taxation annually.]
You have to decide which positions to defend and which to fight. You have made a sad lapse in judgement in trying to fight this possible ban.
Do keep up your entertaining work. We need some eccentrics to fight ridiculous battles to keep us entertained.
Reading this you might think that my correspondent is a trifle eccentric himself.
However he and his wife run what appears to be a delightful and very successful bed and breakfast in the south of France so he can't be a complete fruitcake.
I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and suggest that February must be a quiet month and he's got too much time on his hands.
That said, I'm delighted my "passionate defence" of smokers' rights hasn't gone unnoticed, even in the ex-pat community.
Simon Clark
Here's my reply:
Dear Mr X,
I regret to inform you that your email account appears to have been hacked by an internet troll very different to the Mr X described on TripAdvisor.
The latter sounds such a lovely, friendly hospitable fellow that I am finding it hard to reconcile the two. I am sure they must be completely different people.
I have, by the way, taken the liberty of looking at your website and your bed & breakfast does indeed look like the perfect retreat. Do you accommodate smokers?
Kind regards,
Simon Clark
And here is his reply to my reply:
Dear Simon
Bravo for an excellent response.
I fear to say that that swine Paul Bridgestock has taken great pleasure in not allowing smoking even on the outside tables!
Sorry if I had a bit of a pop at you. I do rather admire you. A bit like a man on the Titanic with a bucket throwing water over the side in the poor hope of saving the ship. Having said that every topic needs an opposite point of view.
I would say to you that I am not really bothered about the health issues although smoking mothers should, of course, be shot.
It is the horrible mess that is left by smokers that I really object to. I also think that is the most unpopular thing about smoking.
Have a good day.
Kind regards,
Reader Comments (8)
A smokerphobic Basil Fawlty. 😁
To quote a chum, responding to a particularly amateurish attempt at trolling on an online space we shared many moons ago...
"Criminy. You'll have to try harder than that."
You are a spoilsport for not telling us who this ill informed authoritarian gentleman is. I could have minutes of fun making his life more interesting and amusing.
he'd sad thing is these antismokers actually believe they are justified in using hate speech to persecute smokers. They do so because they have been conditioned to believe smoking causes all disease and that they are righteous for not smoking and that smokers are selfish to expose them (as well as themselves) to risk.
They fail to see their own selfishness And certainly can't see that they have been manipulated through relentless propaganda (and a fair share of lies and manipulated or exaggerated data) to accept these views and further the denormalization of smokers.
Anti-smokers are brain-washed.
Such a shame really when true life and living centurions, adults, teens and babies are all around them.
Anti-smokers are heavily-funded fanaticals and disgust me.
They have wished me death on well over 1000 occasions so as far as I'm concerned they are intolerant, undemocratic filth, following the filthy lucre only.
All the statements that they claim have been proved totally false in my household. They can go and jump with my tax-paying funding.
The lies disgust me any many others.
Doesn't really understand Darwin very well does he?
He also doesn't know due to his blind prejudice that many smokers today carry pocket ashtrays and make far less mess than gum chewers. Those that don't get penalised so he should be ecstatic about that, especially because gum chewers and other litterers don't.
He might want to think the smoking issue is almost sunk but experts like Neil Mckeganey cannot see a day in the future when people will not be smoking.
I'd love to know where his place is. I would not want to end up at such a bland place on my travels this year. I cannot believe with a smokerphobic owner there is anything delightful about the place. I do hope he advertises his offensive views about his potential customers who smoke because this info is vital before booking.
Luckily there are many more places to stop in France and throughout Europe that do welcome smokers.
It really is galling that an expat who pays no tax here has the cheek to demand who should and who should not have a right to stand outside a hospital enjoying a product that is perfectly legal and whose tax funds the NHS far more than smokerphobics living abroad.
As the daughter of a pregnant smoker, who herself was the daughter of smokers, and the smoker mum myself of 3 non smokers and one smoker, I can assure Mr Moron that none of us have 2 heads, 3 eyes, or half a brain. The grandkids are beautiful and in excellent health too. And we are all far more intelligent and capable of reason than Mr thicko B&B.
@ Pat Nurse
" I cannot believe with a smokerphobic owner there is anything delightful about the place"
How true. I was in a hotel in the Ardennes last year. Having booked online I only got around to asking at the check in if we might have a smoking room. The Patron turned nasty and gave me a threatening lecture in broken English (neither my Flemish or French are up to getting a bollocking) about how he was really STRICTLY against smoking in his rooms and would fine me 150 euros if he felt I had.
As it turned out he would have had trouble detecting cold old smoke in the room he let us, such was the overpowering miff of mildew.
To make matters worse I awoke in the night around 3AM and went downstairs and outside onto the covered patio to smoke. Opening the door apparently triggered an alarm and the owner, bleary eyed came out to see what was the matter. Saw I was smoking...then lit one himself!
Needless to say as I had only booked into the hotel for one night so as to be able to visit one of the last tobacco makers in Belgium whose workshop and museum were round the corner, and which is about the only industry left in that village, it was all rather galling. I will not be staying there again. Capnophobes I can just about live with for a few hours, smoking capnophobes less so.