God bless America

So farewell then, Washington DC.

This was my third visit and I'm so glad I stopped by. It's every bit as good as I remember it.

In 1983, as I may have recorded before, I was invited to attend a two-week conference hosted by the Republican-leaning Young America's Foundation.

Brian Monteith, who was chairman of the Federation of Conservative Students at the time, put my name forward because they wanted a group of young European journalists.

Brian must have asked me to recommend a second person – three were invited from the UK – because my friend John Drummond, a reporter on the Aberdeen Evening Express, also made the trip.

The third Brit was an eccentric historian and journalist called Michael Fry. Oddly enough, he was a friend of Brian's too.

It was pretty obvious we were going to be subjected to a degree of Republican propaganda but that was a small price to pay – for me, at least.

Others didn't take so kindly to being force-fed a daily diet of Reaganite politics and one day several people walked out of our daily briefing in protest.

Personally I thought it was incredibly rude and unprofessional. We were there as journalists and journalists record things. If you walk out of such a meeting you're putting your views ahead of your readers.

We stayed in a small college style building a few miles from Downtown DC. I shared a room with Michael and all I remember is, he snored extremely loudly.

Worse, it coincided with my having the most terrible toothache. The pain would build up during the night until it was almost unbearable for about an hour, and then recede. During the day it was OK but I daren't go to a dentist because I was worried how much it would cost.

When I got home I discovered I had an access which the the dentist treated by drilling a small hole in the tooth. This released the pressure and I remember what a huge relief it was.

"That must have been extremely painful," said the dentist sympathetically.

"It was," I said, "but the guy I was sharing a room with was snoring so loudly I couldn't sleep anyway."

(A few days later I had root canal surgery to remove the nerve, but that's another story.)

Anyway, in between the political brainwashing (which I rather enjoyed) and the toothache (which I didn't) we visited the White House, the Washington Memorial and lots of other landmarks.

We also visited Williamsburg, the old colonial capital, which I would recommend to anyone touring the States.

And I met Todd Buchholz, who was one of the YAF guides. Todd and I have kept in touch ever since and last year my family even visited his family in San Diego.

Four years later I was director of the Media Monitoring Unit which was set up in 1985 to monitor current affairs programmes for political bias.

I was approached by Sir Alfred Sherman, a former advisor to Margaret Thatcher and a rather eccentric figure, who had ambitions to set up his own monitoring operation.

Sherman paid me to go to America to research other media monitoring outfits. The Washington-based Accuracy In Media was one and I spent several days in their Georgetown office reading reports and immersing myself in their work.

After that I flew to Nashville, Tennessee, home of the Vanderbilt Television News Archive, which describes itself as "the world's most extensive and complete archive of television news".

Sherman wanted to create something similar in the UK but the cost was prohibitive and the project was shelved.

So here I am, 27 years later, about to board a flight home after my third trip to Washington. I hope it won't be my last.

I sat in on some interesting meetings, met some interesting people, ate in some excellent restaurants and drank in some excellent bars.

Forget all that nonsense about weak American beer, by the way. Some of the craft beer (Port City IPA, for example) is as good as anything you'd drink in Belgium.

Sadly I had no opportunity to use the "mini intimacy kit" my hotel kindly supplied.

It included two premium condoms, a water-based personal lubricant, "lover's mints" and a feather tickler.

Now that's what I call service.

God bless America.

PS. If only British politics had campaign ads like this:

Comments

[The Blocked Dwarf]

"the "mini intimacy kit" my hotel kindly supplied. "

Dear God! Whatever happened to the Gideon, ashtray and a booklet of matches? Probably possession of all 3 of the above is now a criminal offence. These days hotels don't seem to mind you committing adultery between their sheets nor 'exploiting' a sex worker on their premises but heaven forfend you might want to ease the burden on your soul late nights with a passage from the Good Book or have a post coital cigarette (a basic Human Right).

And I suppose terrorists might make detonators from shaved match heads...

[Joyce]

"It included two premium condoms, a water-based personal lubricant, "lover's mints" and a feather tickler."

LOL not one, but two, condoms and not any old budget ones - just in case they get sued on the grounds of unwanted pregnancy! Is two to cover (ahem) athletic heterosexual coupling and also homosexual activity? Is the fact that the lubricant is 'water-based' important (and what kind of lovers need one anyway - reluctant ones (as TBD hints, above))? As for the feather tickler - I'll assume I've just led a sheltered life!

[The Blocked Dwarf]

" 'water-based' important?"

I assume because petroleum/oil based lubes eat latex ? And I assume also that the hotel supplied 'premium' condoms were silicon not latex cos otherwise there would be an insurance claim waiting to happen,you know how Americans are,...."Hotel Condom Caused Hypoallergenic shock to man with latex allergy"....