From stitch up to carve up – how Rishi Sunak's government works

You've got to laugh.

Last week I highlighted the make up of the Committee that will consider written and oral evidence in relation to the Tobacco and Vapes Bill.

I noted that of the 17 MPs on the Committee, 16 had voted in favour of the Bill at the second reading two weeks ago, and the only person who didn't – Labour's Mary Kelly Foy – is vice-chair of the APPG on Smoking and Health which is run by ASH so it's clear which way she would have voted had she been in the House.

Guido Fawkes ran the story here and included a quote by me:

“Committees don’t need to be balanced but this is such an obvious stitch-up it’s embarrassing. The make-up of the Tobacco and Vapes Bill Committee is effectively a f*ck you to every MP who voted against the Bill, and every member of the public who opposes the generational smoking ban.”

Four days later I've got more news for you. If the composition of the Tobacco and Vapes Bill Committee was a stitch up, the next stage of the process goes even further.

This morning the Government published the list of people and organisations that have been invited to give oral evidence to the Committee over the next two days.

Aside from how quickly the process is being steamrollered through parliament (just four working days from confirmation of the Committee last Wednesday to 33 witnesses giving oral evidence to members of that same body), it's clear the Government couldn't give a damn about any opinion that differs from its own or doesn't support the Bill.

Starting at 9.25am tomorrow morning, the Committee will therefore 'consider' oral evidence from the following:

• Michelle Mitchell OBE (Chief Executive at Cancer Research UK)
• Deborah Arnott (Chief Executive at Action on Smoking and Health (ASH))
• Sheila Duffy (Chief Executive at Action on Smoking and Health Scotland)
• Dr Charmaine Griffiths (Chief Executive at British Heart Foundation)
• Sarah Sleet (Chief Executive Officer at Asthma and Lung UK)
• Dr Patrick Roach (General Secretary at NASUWT - The Teachers' Union)
• Matthew Shanks (Chair at Secondary Teacher Reference Group)
• Paul Farmer (Chief Executive at Age UK)
• Cllr David Fothergill (Deputy Chair of the LGA, Chairman of the LGA Community Wellbeing Board at Local Government Association (LGA))
• Greg Fell (President at Association of Directors of Public Health)
• Ailsa Rutter OBE (Director at Fresh and Balance North East)
• Adrian Simpson (Policy Adviser – Retail Products at British Retail Consortium)
• John Herriman (CEO at Chartered Trading Standards Institute (CTSI))
• Kate Pike (CTSI Lead Officer for Vaping at Chartered Trading Standards Institute (CTSI))
• Laura Young (PhD Student at Centre for Water Law, Policy and Science, University of Dundee)
• Professor Linda Bauld OBE (Bruce and John Usher Chair in Public Health at University of Edinburgh)
• Professor Robert West (Professor Emeritus of Health Psychology at University College London (UCL))
• Professor Ann McNeill (Professor of Tobacco Addiction at King’s College London)

You couldn't make it up. But it gets better (or worse, depending on your outlook) because on Wednesday the oral evidence session continues with these witnesses:

• Professor Sir Chris Whitty, Chief Medical Officer for England
• Sir Francis Atherton, Chief Medical Officer for Wales
• Professor Sir Michael McBride, Chief Medical Officer for Northern Ireland
• Professor Sir Gregor Ian Smith, Chief Medical Officer for Scotland
• Professor Sir Steven Powis (National Medical Director at NHS England)
• Kate Brintworth (Chief Midwifery Officer at NHS England)
• Professor Kamilla Hawthorne MBE (Chair of the Council at Royal College of General Practitioners)
• Professor Steve Turner (President at Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health (RCPCH))
• Professor Sanjay Agrawal (RCP’s special adviser on tobacco at Royal College of Physicians)
• Dr Tim Mitchell (President at Royal College of Surgeons)
• Mark Rowland (Chief Executive at Mental Health Foundation)
• Dr Laura Squire OBE (Chief Healthcare Quality and Access Officer at Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA))
• Mr David Lawson (Director at Inter Scientific Ltd.)
  Professor Allison Ford (Associate Professor at the Institute for Social Marketing and Health at University of Stirling)
• Dr Rob Branston (Senior Lecturer at University of Bath)
• Professor Anna Gilmore (Professor of Public Health at University of Bath)

Many of the names will be familiar to you and I would be gobsmacked if a single witness is opposed to the Bill, other than complaining that it doesn't go far enough.

Rishi Sunak is clearly so desperate to get the legislation through parliament without delay or proper scrutiny that opponents – including shopkeepers who have genuine concerns about the impact of the Bill on retail crime and the safety of staff – have been completely sidelined.

Unlike PhD student and 'social media influencer' Laura Young, also known as Less Waste Laura, who was almost unheard of a couple of years ago.

Now, thanks to her one woman campaign to ban disposable vapes, she has been invited to give evidence whilst other campaigners, opposed to prohibition, have been frozen out.

Faced with what is sure to be an overwhelming defeat in the election, whenever it's held, it's as if the prime minister is saying: "Damn them, I don't care any more. This is my legacy and I'm going to get this Bill through regardless of opposition even within my own party."

This isn't a stitch up, it's a carve up, yet few people seem in the slightest bit bothered.

Is this the moment democracy died? Probably not, because it's been on life support for some time, but the more I see how the system works the less I trust it, and the less I trust it the less I like it, and the less I like it the less likely I am to vote.

Consequently an increasing number of people like me simply won't vote because ... why should we?

In a democracy I'm perfectly happy to accept the will of the majority, even if I disagree with it, but en route I do expect government to at least consider my point of view, and that of millions of people who share those views, in the course of the political process.

Instead, what we're experiencing with the Tobacco and Vapes Bill is more like Soviet or Russian politics where legitimate opposition to government policy is ignored and opponents are effectively cancelled.

For me, Sunak's legacy won’t be fewer children smoking, but fewer adults voting because ... why bother?

Bridge of sighs

Disappointing result but good to be back at the Bridge.

What a long day, though. We drove to London from Cambridgeshire, leaving just before midday, but our arrival in central London coincided with yet another march that blocked several roads and led to a significant detour before I could leave the car in my preferred car park off Horseferry Road in Westminster.

We then got the tube to Fulham Broadway and had a bite to eat in a restaurant on the Fulham Road.

When we arrived at the ground 45 minutes before the 5.30 kick-off, large crowds - including groups of noisy, excited Barcelona supporters - were milling around outside.

(I was amused to note that the entrance I used to enter the ground in the Eighties is now called the Bovril Gate after my favourite match-day drink.)

Our seats yesterday were in the ‘new’ West Stand, now 30 years old, in a section called Westview.

There was a spacious ‘food hall’ and from our padded seats the view of the lively pre-match entertainment (and the game itself) was enhanced by a big screen directly in front of and above us.

We were pretty much on the halfway line and tickets were a very reasonable £22.50 each. Compare that to the price of a Westview ticket for the men’s team which range from £120 to £280 apiece.

(Season tickets in Westview cost between £1,615 and £3,685.)

As for the match, Barcelona were clearly the superior team, with almost 70 per cent possession and most of the other stats (shots on goal, corners etc) in their favour.

Nevertheless, Chelsea restricted them to very few genuine goal scoring opportunities and the best chances unquestionably fell to the home side who hit the bar, and the post, and missed another glorious opportunity, all when Barcelona were 1-0 up and the score was 1-1 on aggregate.

Chelsea will kick themselves because had just one of those chances been taken the outcome might have been different, but we’ll never know.

Instead, what undoubtedly swung the game in Barcelona’s favour in the second half was the referee’s decision to book Chelsea defender Kadeisha Buchanan twice in four minutes, leading to her dismissal in the 59th minute.

The first booking was justified, the second wasn’t. Indeed, from our position high up in the West Stand, the ‘foul’ was so innocuous it took several moments to realise she had been sent off.

Fifteen minutes later Chelsea conceded a penalty that, again, most people considered extremely soft, and despite pushing for an equaliser in the closing minutes, a slew of late substitutions seemed to hinder rather than help the team which lost its shape.

So, a disappointing if not unexpected result. Barcelona are the best women’s team in the world, albeit not unbeatable in a one-off match.

Two years ago, for example, they lost to Lyon, the other giant of women’s football, in the final of the Women’s Champions League.

Over two legs, however, they’re almost impossible to beat, although Chelsea have come close twice having also lost 2-1 on aggregate at the same stage last year.

Overall though I enjoyed the experience. There was a large number of children, who are no doubt priced out of watching the men’s team, and I liked the fact that, in our section at least, Chelsea and Barcelona fans sat together.

I loved the lack of bile and aggression that you get among supporters in the men’s game, not to mention the often provocative chanting designed to wind up the opposition.

One man in the row behind us threatened briefly to spoil the mood by swearing and shouting “Cheat!” as loudly as possible at the referee, but he was an outlier.

Inspired by the officials’ bright orange shirts, a more humorous, if slightly tiresome, chant was, “The referee’s a carrot”.

I lost count of the number of times it was shouted out, a situation made all the more surreal by the fact that the man responsible sounded exactly like Timmy Mallett.

Forty years ago, when I sat in the old West Stand, I never imagined that, one day, I would watch a Chelsea Women’s team play in front of almost 40,000 people at a sold out Stamford Bridge.

Furthermore, I could never have envisaged being more invested in the women’s team than the men’s, but that’s where we are.

See also: Singing the Blues

Update: “You can’t give the ball back to Barcelona for 90 minutes and expect to win the game.”

Very fair analysis of the match by Chelsea and England defender Jess Carter on the Chelsea website.

Singing the Blues

I’m going to Stamford Bridge (above) this afternoon.

Chelsea Women are playing the second leg of the Women's Champions League semi-final against Barcelona and I want to support them, in person.

The first leg, in Barcelona last Saturday, resulted in a surprise 1-0 win for Chelsea.

To put this in perspective, it was Barcelona’s first defeat at home in any competition since February 2019.

It was also the first time they had failed to score in any match for two years.

Chelsea are good - one of the best women’s teams in England and Europe - but Barcelona are the current European champions and are still favourites to reach the final.

At the start of the week Chelsea’s long-serving manager Emma Hayes - who is leaving in the summer to take charge of the United States’ women’s national team - urged supporters to fill Stamford Bridge for the return leg, and I was happy to answer the call.

Again, some perspective. Chelsea Women normally play at Kingsmeadow in Kingston-upon-Thames where the average crowd is around 4,000.

Stamford Bridge holds 40,000 and when Hayes made her pitch I understand that 24,000 tickets had been sold. Last night the club announced that the match is a sell out and the stadium will be full.

As some of you know, my allegiance to Chelsea began in 1967, when I was eight. The club had just lost the FA Cup final to Spurs and for some reason I was attracted to the losing team. (Sound familiar?)

But it wasn’t the only reason for my choice.

We were living in Maidenhead in Berkshire at the time but my aunt lived in Kensington and whenever we visited her I would see signs to Chelsea (which is in the same borough) and it was the combination of those two factors that led me to support the team in blue.

Two years later we moved to Scotland, at which point I began supporting Dundee United as well, but as soon as I got a job in London in 1980 I became a frequent visitor to Stamford Bridge.

The club was in a bad way, having been relegated twice in the Seventies, and when I started watching them they were in the old Second Division and perilously close to dropping into the Third Division.

The stadium too was very different to what it is today. Behind each goal, for example, was what remained of an old speedway track so spectators at both ends of the ground were a significant distance from the pitch.

The stadium, which once held 80,000 spectators, was now dominated by the three-tier East Stand that was built in the early Seventies and almost bankrupted the club.

Behind one goal was a vast uncovered terrace for away fans, and behind the other goal was more terracing, partially covered.

This was the infamous Shed End where the hooligans gathered, and in the Eighties Chelsea had more than their fair share.

In 1986 I remember sitting high up in the East Stand watching the second leg of the League Cup semi-final against Sunderland.

Chelsea lost the match, and the tie, and at the end so-called ‘supporters’ invaded the pitch and assaulted one of the Sunderland players, a former Chelsea player called Clive Walker.

The then Chelsea chairman Ken Bates, who allegedly bought the club (and its substantial debts) for £1 in 1982, subsequently suggested that an electrified fence would stop people trespassing on to the pitch.

A wire fence was duly erected but the authorities stepped in before it went ‘live’.

The only experience I had of standing in The Shed end was on February 13, 1982, when Chelsea, still a Second Division club, beat Liverpool - winners of the European Cup the previous season - 2-0 in the FA Cup.

That was quite an afternoon but I normally sat in the old West Stand that was demolished and replaced a decade later by the current West Stand, where we are sitting this afternoon.

Some games in the old Second Division were poorly attended and it wasn’t unusual for large parts of the ground to be empty.

The upside was that there was no need to buy tickets in advance. You just turned up and paid at the turnstile, and once inside the ground there was a large choice of seats!

I could also walk from where I lived at the top of the North End Road in West Kensington to the ground, which is close to Fulham Broadway, in just 20 minutes.

As it happens, Stamford Bridge is in Fulham, not Chelsea because, when the original athletics stadium was purchased by the Mears family in 1904, the plan was to turn it into a football ground and lease it to Fulham Football Club.

Fulham however declined the offer so the owners solved the problem by forming their own club, Chelsea FC, to play there.

But I digress.

As the Eighties wore on life got in the way and I went to Stamford Bridge less and less, and when I got married and moved back to Scotland in 1992 I stopped going altogether.

Since then I’ve visited Stamford Bridge just twice, once for a stadium tour with my son when he was eight or nine, and once for a match - also with my son - against Wolves (or was it Bolton?) the following year.

Chelsea scored five goals but that’s about as much as I can remember.

Truth is, much as I would love to have watched, in person, the great Mourinho team, and subsequent stars such as Michael Ballack and Eden Hazard, I haven’t lived in London for over 30 years.

Therefore it’s too much hassle, frankly, to travel into London for matches that, for the benefit of television, kick off at all hours and very rarely (it seems) at the traditional time of 3.00pm on a Saturday afternoon.

Also, I’m just not as passionate about football as I was when I was younger.

In recent years however I’ve surprised myself by developing a genuine interest in women’s football, a subject I wrote about here when England reached, and won, the final of the Women’s Euros in 2022.

Women's football may be far below the men’s game in many respects but, regardless of that, I enjoy it.

Off the pitch especially I am struck by how much more articulate, engaging and unguarded many of the players are compared to their male counterparts.

Their enjoyment of the game is infectious and I hope that never changes, although I suspect it will as the rewards and pressures gradually increase.

Last year I wrote:

What I love are the frequently unguarded interviews given by England’s women players, a highlight of which was midfielder Georgia Stanway cheerfully telling the assembled press, “Sometimes you don't realise that your head coach is actually human.”

Serina Wiegman, England's Dutch coach, was sitting a few feet away with an amused smile on her face.

Sadly, I suspect that much of that unfettered joy, bordering on naivety, will be knocked out of future generations of female pros so, again, enjoy it while it lasts.

PS. Three more (very small) examples of why women’s football is arguably more enjoyable to follow, at present, than the men’s game:

Exhibit 1: In a Women’s Champions League match last year Chelsea’s Melanie Leupolz, a German international who had only recently returned to the side after a year out having a baby, got a kick in the face. With a thick river of blood covering her face, did she roll around and make a meal of it? No. She sat up gingerly, left the field (without complaint) for treatment, and even made a joke of it on social media.

Exhibit 2: Emma Hayes and Carla Ward, the head coaches of Chelsea and Aston Villa respectively, were recently seen laughing together on the touchline. Earlier in the game Villa had their goalkeeper sent off for handling the ball outside the box. Late in the game, with Villa losing 3-0, the substitute keeper developed a calf strain and it seemed she might have to come off as well. Ward was under pressure following some poor results. I for one found it heart-warming that she could laugh about the situation with her friend and rival manager.

Exhibit 3: Following another recent match, Chelsea’s Norwegian midfielder Guro Reiten was filmed accepting a can of Irn Bru from a young female supporter, which she then held up, laughing. The context was that, a few days earlier, the club had posted a video of her teammate, Scotland’s Erin Cuthbert, introducing the Scottish fizzy drink to Reiten and two Swedish teammates who then had to taste it, with mixed reactions. The amusing interaction between player and spectator - and the fact that the club posted it on social media - is not unusual in the women’s game, for now at least. Long may it continue.

See also: Football? It’s a woman’s world now (July 2022) and Not watching the Women’s World Cup final? What’s wrong with you? (August 2023).

Photo: iStock

Stitch up (how low will this Govt go?)

Two days ago the Government quietly published the list of MPs who will sit on the Tobacco and Vapes Bill Committee.

It would have been easy to miss because it was number 41 (under General Committees: Appointments) on a long list of items entitled ‘Chamber Business’.

The Committee is currently scheduled to meet from April 30 to May 23 when it will hear evidence from stakeholders and other interested parties and consider amendments to the Tobacco and Vapes Bill.

For the record, the 17 members of the Committee, who would have been chosen by Government and Opposition whips, are:

Nickie Aiken, Duncan Baker, Aaron Bell, Bob Blackman, Dr Lisa Cameron, Bambos Charalambous, Mary Kelly Foy, Preet Kaur Gill, Trudy Harrison, Dr Caroline Johnson, Andrea Leadsom, Rachael Maskell, Kirsten Oswald, Angela Richardson, Mr Virendra Sharma, Steve Tuckwell and Christian Wakeford.

Despite the fact that there was substantial and well publicised opposition to the Bill at the second reading last week, with 165 Conservative MPs - almost half the parliamentary party - either abstaining or voting against (58), the 17-member Committee contains not a single MP who voted against the Bill.

Instead, 16 out of the 17 MPs chosen to sit on the Committee voted in favour of the Bill, and the only one who didn't (Labour's Mary Kelly Foy – no vote recorded) is vice-chair of the APPG on Smoking and Health (which is run by ASH) so we know she supports the Bill and would have voted Aye had she been present.

Incredibly, no fewer than FOUR members (almost a quarter) of the Committee are also members of the APPG on Smoking and Health. Apart from Mary Kelly Foy, the others are Bob Blackman (Conservative), who is chairman of the APPG, Rachael Maskell (Labour), and Virendra Sharma (Labour).

Guido Fawkes has the story here with a comment by me. I don’t normally swear when representing Forest but on this occasion I felt it was justified.

“Committees don't need to be balanced but this is such an obvious stitch-up it's embarrassing.

“The make-up of the Tobacco and Vapes Bill Committee is effectively a f*ck you to every MP who voted against the Bill, and every member of the public who opposes the generational smoking ban."

See: Tobacco and Vapes Bill Committee members

Canada calling

I was on CBC Radio Canada yesterday.

Alberta@Noon is an hour-long phone-in broadcast on CBC Calgary and yesterday’s topic, hosted by Judy Aldous, was the UK’s generational smoking ban.

The programme began with a clip of me explaining that if you can drive a car, join the army, purchase alcohol and vote at 18, when you are legally an adult, you should be allowed to buy tobacco as well.

Although I was listening via the Zoom link, I wasn’t scheduled to take part in the discussion until the second half of the programme.

I was brought in earlier than intended however when another guest, representing Action on Smoking and Health Canada, questioned why someone with tobacco industry links was on the programme.

His name was Les and he sounded even more insufferable than Deborah Arnott!

However, while Deborah merely tries to undermine me by pointing out that Forest is funded by tobacco companies, I don’t remember her ever questioning why someone with tobacco industry links has been invited to take part in any particular programme.

(She might do it privately but I've never heard her say it on air.)

Anyway, I was invited to respond, and then talk about the UK's generational smoking ban, so I was happy with that. Thanks to CBC Calgary for the invitation and what seemed to be a well-balanced discussion.

Being on CBC Radio reminded me of the five days I spent in Toronto in July 2005. It was my first trip to Canada and the reason for the visit was to meet representatives of two groups that were fighting demands for public smoking bans in Ontario and elsewhere.

One was a new consumer group, mychoice.ca, that had been launched the previous year with the support of the tobacco industry in Canada.

I heard about it because in September 2004 it was reported that:

The Canadian Tobacco Manufacturers Council announced Tuesday it was giving $2.5 million to fund a new website dedicated to promoting smokers' rights.

Nancy Daigneault, president of mychoice.ca, said the site would give voice to the concerns of Canadian smokers, who face a growing number of increasingly comprehensive provincial smoking bans as well as personal demonization.

I was keen to meet Nancy, a highly experienced political lobbyist, because I thought I could learn something from her, so we met in Toronto for lunch and she was as impressive as her CV suggested.

One of the things that drew me to mychoice was the fact that, within a few months, they had 40,000 subscribers online.

This was achieved, Nancy told me, through a series of commercial radio ads, and I was interested to learn more because in 2004 Forest had launched its own campaign against a workplace smoking ban, and I wondered if we might do something similar in the UK.

Sadly, the history of the international smokers’ rights movement is littered with false starts and abandoned campaigns and after two years the tobacco companies pulled the plug on mychoice.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Another person I met in Toronto represented a second tobacco industry funded group that, if I remember, was similar to a UK initiative called Atmosphere Improves Results (AIR).

The purpose of AIR, before the smoking ban was introduced, was to promote the scientific fact that the installation of modern air filtration units could remove many of the gases and particles that are a consequence of smoking and tobacco smoke.

Pubs and restaurants were encouraged to improve air quality and significant progress had been made, in England especially.

AIR's counterparts in Toronto (whose name I can't remember) ran a similar campaign, so the aim of meeting them was to share ideas and messaging.

Unfortunately the introduction a workplace smoking ban in Ontario in 2006 rather scuppered that initiative, and it was probably the reason why, the following year, mychoice lost its funding as well (too soon, in my opinion).

Without Nancy Daigneault, who left, it limped on for a year or two before being abandoned. (The URL – carelessly not renewed – was later picked up by the anti-smoking lobby, but that’s another story.)

The third person I met in Toronto was someone I had been keen to meet ever since he contacted Forest with details of a song he had co-written and recorded.

His name was Matt Finlayson and when I met him he could not have been nicer or more hospitable.

Not only did he give me a guided tour of Toronto, he also drove me to Niagara Falls, a round trip of 160 miles.

He even invited me to his house for dinner where I met his wife and Eric Layman, a close friend.

Eric was a poet and writer. Sadly, he died a few years after I met him, but in 2001 he wrote ‘The Smoke Police’, a poem or lyric that was subsequently set to music by Matt whose semi-professional band, The Intended, included it on their excellent CD Route 101.

Confusingly, there is (or was) another, better known, band in Canada called The Intended which may explain why there is now little or no trace of ‘The Smoke Police’ or Matt’s band on the internet.

I still have my Route 101 CD though and it brings back very happy memories of meeting Matt and visiting Toronto.

PS. The outgoing flight was one of only two occasions when I have been upgraded to business class. The other was on my honeymoon when we flew to Miami en route to the Florida Keys.

I dislike flying but business class, like first class (which I have flown once and at someone else's expense), does make it bearable.

The downside is that every time I turn right rather than left when boarding a long haul flight, I silently weep, knowing what I'm missing.

Congratulations, Hazel Cheeseman!

Hazel Cheeseman has been announced as the new chief executive of ASH.

She will begin her new job on October 1, taking over from Deborah Arnott who is retiring after 21 years in the role.

The news won’t surprise readers of this blog because I kind of predicted it in February when Arnott's 'planned retirement' was revealed.

At the time I wrote:

As for her successor, one would imagine that Hazel Cheeseman, her deputy since 2021, is the hot favourite.

And a year before that, having speculated that Arnott might retire, I noted:

I’ve no reason to suppose Arnott's retirement is imminent, but it didn't go unnoticed that in 2021 Hazel Cheeseman stepped up from director of policy to deputy chief executive.

I may be wrong but I don’t recall ASH ever having a deputy CEO (or deputy director) before, so it wouldn’t surprise me if she is being lined up for the top job when Deborah does call it a day.

According to the press release issued by ASH today:

Hazel was appointed by the Trustees following an open and competitive recruitment process …

I’m sure it was, but I’d love to have been a fly on the wall when the interviews took place, if only to know who the other candidates were!

The good news is that, although Cheeseman has worked for ASH for over ten years, she is significantly less prickly (with me at least) than the woman she is replacing.

On the relatively few occasions we’ve gone head-to-head, I can't remember things ever boiling over or becoming unpleasant or personal.

That said, I genuinely wish Deborah a happy retirement, although it wouldn't surprise me if she ended up in the House of Lords.

I wish Hazel well too. We may not agree on much but I hope we can continue to be civil to one another. It's not a lot to ask, is it?

See: Deborah Arnott - a tribute (of sorts)

Forest office site goes smoke free

Twenty years ago Forest moved from a leased office in London to a substantially cheaper serviced office in Cambridge.

In January, as I explained here, the site previously known as Castle Park was rebranded as Journey Campus (!) and the building previously known as Sheraton House was renamed The Quad.

When we moved to Castle Park in February 2004 I’m pretty sure that smoking was already prohibited in Sheraton House. Instead, staff would go outside to smoke.

Later, smoking directly outside the building was banned too and smokers were given a small smoking area 20-30 yards away.

Today I received this message:

Journey Campus is now a NON-SMOKING SITE. Please be aware that smoking is now not permitted anywhere on the Campus.

If staff members do wish to smoke, they will need to leave site. To confirm, this also includes vaping.

I’m not sure that was in the terms and conditions I signed last year!

Mind my car

This takes me back.

In a video interview with his wife Sharon, reported by the BBC, Ozzy Osbourne ‘recalls moments from his childhood in Birmingham, including how he used to “mind cars for tips” during Aston Villa’s home matches’.

Osbourne was born in 1948 so that must have been in the Sixties, possibly earlier. The practise, however, was still evident when I went to Villa Park in the early Noughties and it wouldn’t surprise me if it’s still going on.

Villa Park is one of the great football stadiums in Britain, but parking anywhere near the ground is difficult if you’re unfamiliar with the area.

I took my son, who must have been ten or eleven at the time (Villa were playing Chelsea), and we found ourselves on a housing estate, half a mile or so from the ground.

Within seconds of parking the car I was approached by a diminutive figure, no older than my son, who asked if we were going to the match.

When I said yes he then offered to “mind the car”.

I noticed several other boys of a similar age lurking around and it was clear there was a small gang of them waiting to prey on drivers like me.

Minding cars for tips? Extortion more like!

It’s 20 years ago now so I can’t remember what I did, but I have a feeling I may have given him - against my better judgement - the fiver he was asking for.

Funnily enough, my experience of Villa fans - having sat among them once at Derby’s Pride Park stadium - is that they are among the most good-humoured supporters in the country, although it probably helped that they won that match 2-0.

Sadly I haven’t been back to Villa Park since that first time, but when I do I’ll leave the car in a city centre car park and get a taxi to the ground, or I’ll travel by train.

Anything to avoid giving “tips” to the heirs of Ozzy Osbourne to “mind my car”.