Pump it up
Saturday, June 25, 2022 at 16:46
Simon Clark

Further to my previous post about Robinsons lemon barley water and my grandparents in Dorset …

I am also reminded that at the age of six or seven I was lulled into thinking there was nothing I could do that my grandfather wouldn’t find amusing. I was wrong.

What happened was this.

It was another glorious sunny day in Dorset and my grandfather was trimming a hedge in the garden. He was on the other side so I couldn’t see him but I knew he was there.

Outside the kitchen door sat a large wooden barrel that collected rain water. Next to the barrel was an old but very portable water pump, a bit like a large bicycle pump.

In my six or seven-year-old mind I thought it would be funny to fill the pump with water from the barrel, walk over to the hedge and attract my grandfather’s attention by shouting “Grandpa!” as loudly as I could.

In my grand plan his head would appear above the hedge and I would pump his face with water.

Incredibly that is exactly what happened and to say he wasn’t pleased would be an understatement. (I think it was the surprise as much as anything.)

So I learned a useful lesson that day. Never shower your heroes with water from a dirty barrel when they’re least expecting it.

It’s unlikely to end well.

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