It’s a long time since I watched the Eurovision Song Contest from beginning to end.
All those terrible songs, many of them entered by the UK, not to mention the length of the programme and the cheesy presentation.
As for the politics … don’t get me started.
Cyprus giving Greece maximum points every year, the Scandinavian countries voting for one another, the post Soviet Eastern bloc doing the same.
This is a relatively recent phenomenon (the last 20-30 years) because it wasn’t always like that, I’m sure.
I first watched Eurovision in 1967 when Sandy Shaw won with ‘Puppet On A String’ (a song she allegedly hated).
The following year Cliff Richard came second with ‘Congratulations’ and for several years the UK seemed to come either first or second.
Eurovision was a much smaller event at that time, usually taking place in a TV studio, and UK entrants tended to come from the ranks of well-known pop singers, most of whom had moved into light entertainment.
Apart from Cliff, who competed twice, there was Lulu, Mary Hopkin, Clodagh Rogers, the New Seekers and Olivia Newton-John.
The 1974 contest, won by ABBA, took place in Brighton and was the first time I remember it being on a larger stage (the conference centre, I think).
I remember it very well - the song (‘Waterloo’), the outfits - but Eurovision was still a relatively modest light entertainment programme and the reason we watched it is because it was Saturday night and there were only three channels - BBC1, BBC2 and ITV - so there was almost no choice.
Gradually the competition got bigger (if not better) but for me it was never ‘appointment TV’. It was something that happened in the background or I read about the following day.
There are many reasons for the UK’s dismal record since we last won it in 1997 but I won’t go into that here.
This year I read that the UK had a decent song and a charismatic performer with a large following on TikTok.
We didn’t want to watch the entire programme but we were curious to hear it and I noted that it was scheduled to be performed near the end - 22nd of 25 entries - so while the earlier songs were being performed we were watching The Essex Serpent on Apple TV.
We switched over when the Australian entry was on and almost wished we hadn’t, it was that bad (and portentous).
The UK entry (‘Space Man’ by Sam Ryder) was pretty good though.
The scoring system has changed since I last watched Eurovision. The problem with the old system was that, most years, it was pretty obvious who had won long before every country had declared their votes which killed any tension and was mind-numbingly boring.
Under the current system the outcome is much less obvious until every country’s public vote has been added to the ‘expert’ jury vote.
Last night, for example, the UK led after the jury vote and Ukraine were in sixth or seventh place.
To no-one’s great surprise however the public voted overwhelming for Ukraine pushing the UK into second place, and it wasn’t even close.
The result satisfied everyone, I think, unless you were the Swiss entry whose singer looked suitably chastened when it was announced that the public had given Switzerland “zero points”.
My favourite moment was of course the Ukraine jury giving the UK maximum points. That got a huge cheer in the Clark household.
Ditto the maximum (12) points awarded to the UK by the French jury.
Likewise I won’t forget that the Australian jury declined to give us even a single point. Why is Australia even allowed to compete in Eurovision? A campaign to have them removed starts here.
That slight aside, the result was perfect.
Ukraine didn’t have the best song (top ten at best) but there was something wonderfully heartwarming about the overwhelming public vote that had nothing to do with the music and can therefore be interpreted in only one way - a massive FU to Putin and Russia.
(It was later revealed that in the public vote the UK gave top marks to Ukraine.)
The UK, in my opinion, had the best song (it’s subjective, I know) followed by Sweden but coming second was fine.
After years of embarrassment it was actually better than fine.
As the points clocked up from the expert juries and quickly took the UK to the top of the table with a clear lead over Sweden and Spain, it was like watching your favourite football team score a succession of goals with the opposition fans actually applauding your team’s performance.
I’m still not a convert to Eurovision though. It’s overlong and most of the music and performances aren’t to my taste, but it’s harmless fun and this year, amid the frivolity, it sent a serious message to an authoritarian dictator and the people who keep him in power.
If Ukraine’s victory and the clear message of support from the rest of Europe brought some momentary relief to a nation under siege, what’s not to like about that?
PS. My other favourite moment of the evening was when presenter/singer Mika confused Romania for Spain when he was speaking to the Romanians. If looks could kill.
One other interesting point. Eurovision used to be presented, did it not, in French and English. Now it’s English only. Hallelujah!