I sometimes wonder whether I should be allowed out.
As I get older there is rarely an event or function where I don’t momentarily embarrass myself. Usually it’s something I say or blurt out but occasionally it’s something else.
This week at the Conservative conference in Birmingham it was a combination of the two.
What happened was this.
I was walking through Brindley Place, just outside the International Conference Centre, where all the restaurants are, when a familiar face walked past me.
He was in a hurry but he saw me, smiled, and said “Hello, Simon” as he walked past.
It was hearing my name that discombobulated me. And his face, as I say, was very familiar.
I knew this man, and he knew me. I could have responded with a wave or a brief acknowledgement and kept walking but a voice in my head said it would be rude not to stop and have a quick chat.
So I turned and called after him. “Hello!”.
He stopped. I moved towards him. We shook hands. And then, the horror!
The face was familiar but my mind had gone blank and I realised I had no idea what his name was or even how we knew each other.
“I’ve just seen the xxx team,” he said, referring to a company he knew I would know.
That only made things worse.
How did he know them? Did he work in that industry? Was he a former employee?
I grasped the nettle. “Where are you working now?” I asked.
He mentioned a certain city and suddenly the fog in my brain cleared. Not only did I remember his name, I remembered - too late - that he’s a member of parliament.
Damn and blast.
What followed was a bit awkward as I tried to dig myself out of a hole of my own making but what made it worse was that I really like this MP, even though I don’t know him personally.
He has a ready smile, always appears cheerful and upbeat, and seems to work extremely hard as a constituency MP, three traits I admire enormously.
So I’m annoyed with myself but what’s done is done. He won’t be the first person to think I’m an idiot but I hope he will forgive my senior moment.