Hope you had an enjoyable Christmas.
Mine was so-so.
My wife calls it man flu but I've been under the weather - genuinely - for a few weeks now.
It began in November with what felt like a mild chest infection. This month it developed into a persistent cough followed by a bad cold (it's usually the other way around).
Then, two days before Christmas, I had one of those sustained headaches that only Imigran can cure.
If you're not familiar with Imigran, it's a miracle pill that tackles even the most debilitating headache, the type that can last for a day or more and is immune to ordinary over-the-counter painkillers.
In my experience it takes 30 to 60 minutes to kick in but the knowledge that it works is a lifesaver in itself.
Before you can buy it however you have to fill in a questionnaire or convince the chemist you're of sound mind, which is hard when all you want to do is collapse on the floor and plead, "The pain is killing me, please help ..."
Anyway I'm over the worst, I think, but I still have a cough that won't go away and congestion that has resulted in a slight loss of hearing in each ear which is a bit worrying because my mother lost most of the hearing in one ear following a similar bout of illness, although she was in her seventies at the time.
Reluctantly therefore I went to the doctor on Friday and as is the norm with most GPs he was unable to cast much light on the problem.
After inspecting my ears with a cold, blunt implement he told me to come back "in two or three weeks" if the problem persists.
Meanwhile my mother suggested I suck on a Fisherman's Friend.
It's not been all gloom and doom, though. To cheer me up my wife bought me a voucher so I can spend a day at Ragdale Hall Health Hydro and Thermal Spa near Melton Mowbray in Leicestershire.
In addition to lunch and dinner (well, you wouldn't want me to starve, would you?) the voucher allows me to book a range of treatments.
There are too many to list but they include:
Luxury manicure
Fire and ice massage
Restorative hand and foot therapy
Tension release scalp therapy
Detox mud wrap
Hypnotherapy
Personal training
Acupuncture
Eyebrow threading
Personally I like the sound of 'The Miracle Facial' and 'The Golden Indulgence'.
Ragdale Hall is "great for a girls' day out" but there's also a Male Zone where men can enjoy a 'Total Time Out' (from women?).
Apparently there are quiet reading rooms but the best news is you can spend the entire day waltzing around in an over-size dressing gown (and little else) and no-one bats an eyelid.
If that wasn't enough here's a little something I bought to feed my caffeine addiction.
It replaces our old Nespresso machine that my wife bought me for Christmas five or six years ago.
As a technophobe I didn't know what to make of it (I was quite happy making a cafetiere several times a day) so it sat in its box for several weeks before I got it out, plugged it in and switched it on. It was that easy.
An even bigger surprise were the Nespresso capsules which create genuinely delicious cups of coffee. There's a good range so it's not hard to find one or more that offer the taste and strength you prefer.
We became firm friends, my Nespresso machine and I, and when it expired shortly before Christmas it was like the death of a pet hamster. (I was in Ireland at the time so my wife had to break it to me gently.)
Like the passing of a hamster, however, the grief was short-lived and was quickly assuaged by the purchase of a replacement (albeit a different colour to the original).
The good news is, our new Nespresso machine is bigger, better and twice the price of our old one. All we need now is a larger, extended kitchen to complement it.
The coffee, of course, tastes exactly the same.